Portfolio > 12 Days of Christmas (x) Times 2 December 2014

Why Northerners are Fast

Many comedians have taken
pride in announcing why
southerners are slow so,
I'll explain why I believe
northerners are FAST.

In the deep south where
I'm from, no weather man or
woman has ever announced
that there is a "skin freeze
warning." I'm pretty sure
I'd be running too, but really
y'all do not run in NYC out of
fear of falling on iced over

I was walking down Harvard Ave.
in Brookline, Ma... a prominent,
educated, well-to-do area...
I watched a very well dressed
man slip on a patch of ice next
to an ally... he didn't hurt himself,
but I noticed he was a Celtics fan
by the rip in his pants.

Why aren't the allies required to
be salted? Trying to deter crime?

And northerners always like to
talk about what southerners eat.
My question to northerners is, can
you afford to eat?

Also, this whole country needs to
stop picking on multifamily house
holds... just think about exactly
how many WHITE undergrads
live in a 2 bedroom apartment

And for the sake of being cordial
please enjoy this sketch from
Jim Gaffigan below.

Why Southerners are Slow

Blogs - Monday, December 8, 2014

12 days of Christmas (x) times 2
Dec. 1-12: Southern Hospitality Monologues
Dec. 13-24: 12 Days of Saints for BABY Jesus!